Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
