he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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