You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
