WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
