Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize