worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
