i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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