She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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