the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
