I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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