you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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