Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I want her autograph on my taint
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
