If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize