Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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