I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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