Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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