the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
