I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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