He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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