i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
