Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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