Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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