i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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