Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
