Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
