At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
