I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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