another moral hangover. fuck.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
