looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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