i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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