What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
