Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
