RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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