Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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