i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
