I'm drive I can fine osifer
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You can't just leave with hair like that
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
