Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
