Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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