i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
