just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
