Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
