If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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