I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
