i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
