Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I want to be your penis for a week.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
