so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It's just like the Real World with babies
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize