arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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