What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm getting married
To pizza
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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