1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
