Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
