yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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