dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
