worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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