She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
