lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
you never un-have a 4some
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
