dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
