Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
