I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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